WHAT DOES VOLDEMORT DO WHEN HE’S NOT TRYING TO KILL THE BOY WHO LIVED?
LIVE A LIFE. LOL!!!!!!!
WHAT DOES VOLDEMORT DO WHEN HE’S NOT TRYING TO KILL THE BOY WHO LIVED?
LIVE A LIFE. LOL!!!!!!!
..one step out the door, and the summer-like weather was a distant memory as the chilly Sydney weather caught me off guard..
..then I got home!..
Does anyone else think it is amazing that seasons of the earth are created by the insanely huge (not perfectly spherical) ball that we reside on, spinning off vertical buy as little as 23 degrees, can cause huge changes in the weather and temperature of a hemisphere of a planet? Insane!! But perfectly true, if generalized to kiddie talk.
The world is spectacular when you think about all the huge to minute processes that occur to it, on it and because of it.
Anywho.. back to reality. I wonder if I can survive tonight with the crazy lady living in the house..?
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder
What a roller coaster of a weekend!
I am a reasonably rational person. I try to be impartial, considering both sides of an argument. I try to be tolerant of other people’s beliefs, their stances on various topics of conversation, and I wholeheartedly attempt to empathize with any situation that I come across. I like to think my mind thinks fairly logically, regardless of how much my poor memory will attempt to ruin my ability to do so.
So when the argument of any faith-based way of life comes into play, I nearly always dismiss the arguments for being contradictory, false, and sometimes utterly ludicrous. Faith in religion has caused many atrocities to be carried out in the name of a ‘God/s’ or deity’s, consumed the lives of many people, ruined others, and continues to do so today. Nearly always, this faith is placed in the writings of those who’s real motivations cannot be known or proven, and sometimes in texts that are translations of translations of copies of translations, and so on.
I could continue for many more paragraphs my opinion and views on religion, such as my views specific to the Catholic Church on its own, but needless to say I’m not a believer in anything related to religion. But I do very much see the appeal in faith to something that can promise more than the current world, or our ‘reality’ (it in itself another topic of discussion) provides. When we die at the end of our relatively short time on this planet, is it not unreasonable to want the end to be followed by an eternity of perfect life, with those who love you, and never another worry or concern about paying the mortgage, or if the kids will be safe on their own, and the many other promises that faith promises will be awarded for your allegiance and worship.
Just recently I had a very long discussion about a fairly recently developed sect of Christianity, known as The World Mission Society Church of God, that believes that the bible itself is the only word of God, and most of the churches resources are dedicated to understanding, translating and interpreting the bible, all books included. Followers live a modern version of the lifestyles by depicted in the book, as in, they live a normal life, abstaining only from actions that are prohibited in the bible itself. They don’t follow the words of the church leaders unless their intentions are proven to be those demonstrated in the bible, and they seem to idealize all the best parts of the bible, dismissing all other sects, as they are the only ‘true’ church of God.
The reason I bring this up is that the argument I had was the only convincing argument I have ever had about why I should join their religion. They promote one of the healthiest lifestyles that is tied to a belief in a God (besides maybe Buddhism, but it doesn’t exactly promote belief in a ‘God’) and their basis for their faith is pretty much just to have faith in the words of the bible, they don’t try to incorporate science to prove that ‘events described in the bible’ happened. Indeed, their research simply dismissed many of the traditional aspects of what most Christians believe, with the person I talked to informing me that most of the stories, such as Adam and Eve, were interpreted incorrectly, and just have been continually reinforced. If what he says is true, Adam and Eve are simply recognised as the first human beings that believed in God, and were not the birth-parents of the human race, as is apparently told in the bible.
I was at first very sceptical about his counter-arguments, many seeming to have been constructed to account for current arguments against religion, but I have been assured a trip to his church would involve talk to a pastor that would reference the NIV Bible that is well distributed around the world to prove that what they believe is in the writings of the bible itself.
The reason this babble about religion is that this argument is really starting to affect me. In fact, this past week, from Thursday onwards, has me constantly reliving all the events of the past week through my mind, with my rational mind being constantly challenged and all my logical thinking throwing much of what it’s interpreting as being impossible. I do try and think of a Youtube Vid by QualiaSoup (many of his vids, as well as TheraminTrees, are well worth a watch!) I recently watched that explains that coincidence is not such an unusual and outlandish concept as many believe, and while it explains to a certain degree what I have experienced, I can’t help but think of some higher power that could be dictating the things that happen in life.
This new Church of God is based on the belief that in Heaven, our previous world, we committed sins, and our punishment is a life on earth, in which we must devote our lives to repenting our sins in worship to God, in the hope that we will meet St. Peter at the Pearly Gates and be granted admission to live the life we didn’t appreciate in the first place. While this argument is a simplification of what I was told, which in itself is a simplification of what he believes, I can see it having a few contradictions already.
But in my mind, I connected this with the concept of Karma. What if God tries to remind us, or those who have hope, or whatever criteria he might use to single out certain people, that we shouldn’t become too content with this world and we must continue to live a life dedicated to reaching the promised paradise?
This weekend, from Saturday around 2:30, to Sunday before about 8:30, I had an absolutely amazing weekend! Everything seemed to just go perfectly. Nothing made me feel sad, anxious, upset, frustrated, uptight, annoyed, or any emotions that have negative connotations. But just as I arrive home, everything, and I mean everything, fell apart. The happy memories of the weekend disappeared. Family was torn apart, hatred was spread and anger lashed out at those who didn’t deserve it. Needless to say, it ruined the whole weekend.
I had lied to many about what my weekend would involve, whose company I would be in, and what I would be doing.
Was this abrupt ending of the weekend Gods doing? Was I being punished severely for the weekend that came at the cost of a huge wrongdoing to get there?
Was karma taking away something that was ill-gotten? Was my negative action that led to the amazing weekend countered by karma punishing me for the negative action?
Then came the day after. The hailstorm had settled, and in my mind, everything was in balance. The brutal end to what was a brutally enjoyed weekend.
Everything, once again, seemed to just fall into place. I became relaxed, content and happy with everything, not as much as I had during the weekend, but this leads straight to the end of the day. Once again, the good was countered by the bad. Missing buses, waiting for hours, frustration, anger and annoyance.
The reason this seems to really have effect me is that the punishment for the good seems to be really proportional in the chaos afterwards. The better the experience, the worse the aftermath.
At this very moment, I am conflicted between many things. Things I can’t fathom myself, let alone convert into text for this blog?
Am I in a world being controlled by a higher power? Or is everything just coincidence? Or am I making no sense what-so-ever and is all this just an incoherent mess of text?
P.S. Many thanks to S.V and C.K for being a part of my life. I would be lost without either of you!
There is no doubt about it. Where everything is going, what is happening around me, what I’m doing with my life, and what everyone else is doing, is just starting to freak me out…
I can feel my grip on all I hold dear; morality, compassion, common sense, control and my sense of the world, is slowly becoming an incoherant mush in my mind. Thought is no longer straight forward, memories are intangible at best, and my anchor to what I hold dear, morality, is flying out the window like it’s a vacuum of space outside it.
I’m… a lost soul.
Nothing is keeping me where I am, but with no sense of direction, no pull towards anything, no emotional attactment to anything, where does one go? When I want to leave forever, where do I want to end up. But do I want to leave? All I know is here, where I am. Or atleast I thought it was all here. Now, I feel like there is nothing familiar, nothing to hold onto, to call dear to my heart, or to desire selfishly. No emotion, except for sadness and dispair..
I guess I can look at my life as being at rock bottom, and the only direction is up. But where does one start when they have nothing to build off of?
Obviously, I have a much better opportunity than the majority of the world, but why do I feel so trapped, and scared?! This is a horrible feeling. I want ‘normal’, or atleast something different to the utter mess I have to call my life.
Should I abandon everything? I have only a few things left I want to keep in my life. Everything else is far away, and nothing I can control.
Why do I feel scared about uprooting what little I have to try again somewhere?
I do feel lucky to have what I’ve got. I never would have expected to have people in my life that make everything worth it all. But I also feel like I’ve disappointed them to the point that I wish I had nothing to do with them just out of embarrasment.
Most importantly, to my mind atleast, who will read this and know my mental anguish? As unjustified it may be, my mind connects the dots, to a life that is wasted, trapped and trampled on. Taunts from those who don’t know it all, play on my mind constantly. I know they are right, but my mind wants to justify that they are wrong. Maybe they are?
Maybe I’m just troubled, and my mind is taking a break from everything.